A blogger life: Real or fantasy?

I often write about how I get fed up with the "perfect" blogs. How can these bloggers have such great lives, great kids, great shopping budgets and perfect husbands when my family seems so dysfunctional at times. Well they cant have all that because no one is perfect. They have bad days and fights, and go over budget and all types of things that don't make their lives joyful from time to time it just doesn't end up on the blog. Keeper of the home posted on this today and I think it is worth a read.

I like to read about 'real' people and real life experiences. This is what makes us grow, learn, adapt and live fuller lives. I am a work in progress. When I look back over my 19 years of marriage, I laugh at how I was in the beginning so naive and expectant. I cry at my middle years of misunderstandings, I yearn for better times and I rejoice at the growth and knowledge I have been able to glean from these experiences.

Life changes, we change, we grow, we see and we learn. So be honest in what you write, rejoice when you have had a great day, a great family moment. Share when things don't work out. When I say I have been planting and working in the garden all day, I mean all day, it isn't a quick hour and poof I have a wonderful garden. Things cant always be a quick fix. Life takes work and I like to keep it as real as I can. People can relate to that, people can say that they feel the same or empathize with your joys and failures.

Well that is another soapbox moment from saving money 101.

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I am what I am

This is a soapbox, vent moment. I just heard the other day that the majority of what you read online/blogs are lies. Now I don't think that they are lies of deceit per say but more of an expressive way to show their lives. Having said that you will never read a lie here.

Sometimes I read a blog and the blog is full of sunshine, full of wonderful families, god fearing people and all is good. This makes me question my life. Why isn't my family that good, why don't we have that god fearing family time, why don't I serve wonderful, nutritious food everyday, why can't I lose weight and the list goes on. Here is the problem they aren't all happy go lucky either, it is just the happier moments they blog about and it gives a sense of unreality to things. Also people lie to themselves because they don't want to acknowledge that there are flaws in their lives it shows weakness. Gosh am I making any sense at all here?

I am weak, I am moody, sleepy, snappy, angry, and don't feel well. Sometimes I am happy, laughing, joking, joyous and spiritually enlightened and ready to meet the world head on and I never know what I am going to get when I wake up that day. I am overweight, anxious, have panic attacks, have a wonderful goofy family that makes me so mad I wonder why I put up with them. My life is as far from perfect as you can get but it is my life and I like it most of the time.

OK so I vented, I don't like fakeness, I don't think sugar coating your life for others is helpful in the least. I feel that honesty is the best policy.

To end, I had a bad day. I had two hours of a client that I could feel nothing for and that bothered me. I always find something worthwhile in a client, they could be the worst and some where deep down I pull out something good about that person. I could find none of that today. The client was a con, she was just more then what I expected and now it has made me question life. I can't explain the worst of the client because of confidentiality but I can say that I heard a really bad thing today and the client didn't care how it came across. My heart is breaking and my mind is racing whaere is the humanity in people? Sorry about my downer but today is what it is, life.

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Another Soapbox moment

Sorry to get on my soapbox again, but I feel I must be honest...

Pop up advertisements...do these just attach themselves to peoples blogs or do the blog owners use these to make money? These are just plain irritating I am sorry to say. I do have a pop up blocker but it is constantly popping up saying this site has been pop up blocked do you want to unblock?

I know making money off your sites sometimes important but when you can barely get to your site, need to put on glasses to find the site content through all the advertisements, it is not worth the effort on my part any longer.

This has been a Paula soapbox moment.

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How much money do you make? Another soapbox moment...

Where do you work? What do you 'do'? How much money do you make? We (society) tends to put so much empathises on these types of questions and some of them are darn right rude. But are you embarrassed if you don't have the right job, or make the right amount of money? We shouldn't be but let's be honest a lot of time we feel embarrassed if we don't 'fit' in with the view society has of us.

I read money saving mom this morning and she talked about going to the mall and wanting things, wanting to look like the other people, and the sense of dissatisfaction that she felt after being there. If we are honest we can all say we have been there too. Why do we feel so sad when we can't have things? Why are we embarrassed when we work so hard, and can't afford to spend money we don't have on presents for Christmas? Unfortunately that is what our culture and society have tried to place upon us.

I love to shop when I can and get new things, I won't lie. I love when I get a good deal and barely spend anything. I hate when I am made to feel inferior for not making more money and I hate that I have to allot myself "x" amount of money to spend on my family for presents but that is the way it is and I shouldn't feel bad about any of it.

So this year why not set the goal of giving more of yourself for the holidays? Why not be honest and say the economy is hard and I am going to set a one gift per kid rule or whatever you and your partner decide is best?

The next time someone asks what you do answer...I work very hard at being a....homemakers, salesmen, social worker, factory worker and the list goes on. If someone is rude enough to ask what it is you make just to be nosy then answer...I make enough to keep my family happy, healthy and well. Be proud of yourself for what you do. Be proud of yourself for how much you shop and save for your family. Be proud of yourself for setting limits on giving this season for the season is about the gift of Christ for our souls not the amount of money we can give to each other.

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Give The Gift of Warmth

Have you ever been cold? I mean really cold? How many times have you been watching TV on the couch and felt a chill so you grab the Afghan your grandmother made and covered up? What if you didn't have enough blankets for all your children? What if you had to keep your heat down or worse didn't have heat and not enough blankets for everyone?

I know this is a lot of questions and some of us don't want to think about being cold and without blankets but this is the truth for many families in the areas where we all live. With the rising costs of energy the choice to turn down the thermostat has turned into a must.

You can give the gift of warmth. Most of us have many more blankets then we need. We have them stuffed into closets, one thrown over the back of every chair, Afghans and quilts that others made and we won't ever get to use them. Please consider passing them on to a family in need.

Donating new or gently used blankets is as simple as putting them in a charity drop box. Every charity has this need. If you want to donate to someone where the blankets will be free to those that need it be sure to check with some of your local charities on their policies. In our area St. Vincent de Paul gives away needed items for free to those that qualify and sell other things at low prices in their store. Others may sell them at their charity stores for very little as well.

Giving other items like coats, gloves, scarves and hats are also appreciated items. These items we tend to gather as well. How many coats do you have? It seems like every Christmas we all tend to get gloves and scarves galore as well.

Working with inner city schools, St. Vincent de Paul and as a social worker I can tell you that people need winter coats as well. If you are a plus size person then your donation becomes even more important. Many plus size ladies are not able to get winter outer wear at charity stores and can not afford to pay the higher prices at stores.

I mentioned before on a blog that donating some items like coats and gloves to your child's school is also a good idea especially if it is an inner city school. Just don't tell your children so they don't see their coat walking around or donate to a different school. Simply call a school to see if they accept donations. I can't tell you how many kids come to school with no coat on the coldest days of the year.

Sometimes we all seem to feel so overwhelmed by the needs of others when we seem to have so many needs of our own. It can be hard to buy extra food when you struggle with your own food budget. However when you are able to donate anything whether it be food, blankets, coats, clothes or even the hundred extra toothpastes you have you are doing much more then some people and you should feel good about that.

SO PLEASE GO THROUGH YOUR CLOSETS, DRAWERS AND ASK YOUR FRIENDS AND FAMILY IF THEY WOULD LIKE TO DONATE AS WELL. COLLECT THE ITEMS AND DROP THEM INTO A BOX. IT IS AS SIMPLE AS THAT.

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Soap Box Moment

I was reading Jane's blog and it really hit home with a talk I had with my daughter last night. Check out her blog because she is a very proud mama.

Here is my soap box moment.

There are parents who want to give their kids everything (the world) and I am no exception however if we do not do this responsibly how will they ever learn to live on their own? How will they know the 'rules' of life?

Jane's daughter has learned the art of couponing and works several jobs while in school. Last night my daughter and I went grocery shopping and we had a really good talk. We talked about a friend of hers that has never had to pay for anything for her mother who is a single mother pays all her expenses for her. This girl never had to do chores, work for spending money or learn the value of a dollar. It makes my daughter a little green and I understand because we all know people who seem to have it easier. A side note on this single mother she doesn't make that much money and gives to her daughter while she goes without or makes concessions on other things that are needed in her home.

I told my daughter that I love her and I would not be a good parent if I didn't teach her to survive in this world. My daughter pays her bills on time, she knows how to pay rent, buy groceries, save, work and clean house. She knows what it is like to go without and she knows the value of getting something she has worked hard to get. Does this make her special? Well yes in my mind. She can hit the street tomorrow and know how to survive can all parents say that? Does this mean she has not experienced hard times, disappointment? Of course not. That is why she is jealous sometimes, it is why we are all jealous.

What age do you begin to teach your children this lesson? Right from the beginning. How many of you have your children save some of their Christmas/birthday money and spend only part of it? How many of you have your children pick up toys, take out trash, vacuum the floor? These are lessons all children learn and it is not hard for a child to do. Some give allowances to their children and some expect that a child helps out because they are part of the family.

Are there not parents that teach their children to make things for presents instead of buying things? Are there not parents who love when their children make cookies for the first time and eat the burned ones anyway because their children are learning to fend for themselves?

Do I want to give my daughter the world? Of course I do but I can't.

Do I want my daughter to come to me if she is trouble? Of course I do and I let her know that she can do so.

Do I want to know that someday when I am gone or unable to be there for my daughter that she is strong and capable of taking care of herself and her family? Absolutely!

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