Continue day one detox

>> Wednesday, February 18, 2009

So here is the thing my fellow readers...since I have exposed myself, I might as well go for the gold there has to be other who feel this way...

As I said below I am weak...my mind is weak when it comes to my weight. I struggle but I struggle with it every minute of every day. I can't go one day with out food, I can't go one hour with out thinking about food. I can't go one day after eating really good for you on the detox diet (couldn't make it throughout the first day) food without crying, balling like a baby because my mind tells me it doesn't want to do this. I struggle with my mind....I fight, I tell it that we will not eat, we will not eat off the plan, we will not starve, we will be ok, I remind myself that I ate and I fed my body good things, things it needs to survive to feel good. But my mind cries, it says I want salt, chips, fast food, m&m's just more stuff.

I feel like the only one who feels this way, I feel alone and ashamed and wonder why can't I even last a day? However I consider that there are a lot of over weight people and that they must suffer too. So that is it folks, detox break down and I didn't even make it through the day.

Am I giving up? No, I bought a boat load of good things to eat and I will be damned if I don't eat them this time. So tomorrow I will wake up and eat fruit, veggies and some wonderful grains that taste good. Will I be able to strictly stick to every part of this plan? Probably not but I will make a few concessions as I can to stick to it because I have to, I hurt, I ache and I must gain some sort of control over my eating.

I have done so much with my life: ten years of schooling, had a child at 18, married 19 years of ups and downs, many miscarriages, several pain ridden surgeries and abandonment, and more. Yet I am a survivor, I stand here crying, yet surviving so tomorrow I will start a new day, and cry I am sure but I will survive that day too.

3 comments:

The Barnharts February 18, 2009 at 10:15 PM  

you're stronger than you think you are- just take baby steps! every time I screw up with a goal I just start over. I do a lot of starting over!

Denise February 19, 2009 at 8:53 AM  

Check your email and I wrote you a long email about this. I know you can do this. It is only a month....think that way.

Simplelivin' February 19, 2009 at 1:05 PM  

You ARE strong and you CAN do it! I eat all the time too. It's so hard for me not too. I've learned to control it though.

Stay busy. If your busy you won't have time to eat.
Chew gum. Seriously, it helps. Or brush your teeth. No one likes to ruin that freshly brushed feeling.
Drink water. A lot of times thirst is mistaken as hunger, plus it fills your tummy.

Mind over matter. Use self disciple and listen to your body. Make sure you get enough calories each day.

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