I am not happy

>> Monday, May 4, 2009

No I am not happy. There are some days I just wish I lived alone and was only responsible for myself. Now I know and you know I don't really mean this but there are days when being footloose and fancy free would be a treat.

My job is in jeopardy. The money is running out of our non profit agency and tomorrow I have a very important mandatory meeting that I just got the call for and the human resource person is involved. That is never good. I have been on eggshells about this for awhile now. As some of you know my husband is unemployed right now, my daughter is working less then 20 hours a week and moved home back in September 08 because of a job loss. Her boyfriend also moved back with her and he lost his job as well. My father in law has been living with us since January because of a stroke.

Updates: Father in law will get no better. The news is final and now we have to decide how long we can handle having him here in our home. He isn't a lot of trouble just frustrating to us in general because of his personality and dementia, it is difficult to deal with at times.

My daughter broke up with her boyfriend, he moved out, she started looking harder for a job/school. She makes up with boyfriend and they decide to be 'friends'. He ends up coming back here because his is not well and the place he was staying was being condemned. My 21 year old daughter is spoiled and today she hit the wrong chords in me. Enough said.

My husband love him dearly has run for his life...he went to play ball tonight.

Why can't I have a good day that lasts a week? Why does every day have to be a challenge? I just don't understand it. I know God has plans for me, I know that I am not privileged to all these plans as of yet. I know my ultimate life will be with my father in heaven but for now I want some peace on earth, I want it the way I want it and I want it now.

I know that sounds spoiled but dang it I never get to be spoiled, and I want to be right now.

Ok break down over. Off to water the garden plants.


Anonymous May 4, 2009 at 6:44 PM  

Paula, looks like some hard times for you now. Your daughter is young, she get over him, and a she'll find a part time job soon. If you lose your job remember when one door closes another one opens. Be happy for hubby, give him a break, no job is stressful too. As for your father in law? Taking care of him is alot of work , I truly know and understand this. Open your heart, it will soften, stay light hearted, we will all be reading and praying for you.

Michelle @ Leaving Excess May 7, 2009 at 8:46 PM  

Paula - always good to get the rant out, right? Then you do what you always do, pick up and move forward. Best to you - you are not alone (although you want to be right now :>)

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